Painful Grace

What makes a man, a total stranger, look another man in the eye and condemn him with venomous words? Why does grace for one incite rage in the other? How does a man come to believe his hate will do anything but destroy?

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Grace is intended to be a life-saving balm to our decaying souls. For those who gulp from its overflowing waters, grace revives. But for those who refuse grace, for those who insist on earning life, grace is a fire that ignites their fury. Those who cannot accept grace freely rage against any who dare to embrace it. Grace, for some,  is too painful to fathom.

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“I hope your soul burns in hell!”

Words meant to destroy grace…words meant to kill hope…words meant to suffocate joy. Words from a total stranger to a man who had been set free from his guilt and shame…a man who knew first-hand the tender effects of mercy…a man whose life was saved by grace. Surely, the demons cheered as the stranger’s vicious words coiled around the other man’s heart. And yet…I pray he felt the presence of a Man who hung on a cross in order to birth grace reach down and cover his heart with truth. A truth that says, “My grace is enough. You were saved by a gift of grace. You are made right by grace. My grace is abundant. My grace chose you, and My grace will sustain you.”

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Javert, the police inspector in Le Miserable, was such a man. He could not tolerate the grace given to Jean Valjean, a prisoner who broke parole. Ultimately, Javert is faced with his own need of grace; but tragically, instead of allowing grace to transform his life, he let death end it. How could a man prefer death over grace? Sadly, this classic tale of grace received and grace refused is lived out every day. There are some men who simply cannot admit their own need of grace, and they desire to destroy any who have done so. They attempt to kill with their words. They attempt to kill with their judgements. Ironically they are, most often, the ones who die of their own poison.

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“The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” ~ James 3:6

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Why do we feel justified in speaking such vicious words? Why do we judge so harshly the sins of others and downplay our own filthy unrighteousness? Our words have the power to give life or to set a soul on fire. Your words have power; use them wisely.

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“Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” ~ Ephesians 4:29

Thought for the day

The crown of the home is godliness.
The beauty of the home is order.
The glory of the home is hospitality.
The blessing of the home is contentment.

Henry Van Dyke (1852-1933)

Thought for the day

“Christians are simply beggars who know where other beggars can find bread.”

~ The Book of Hours by T. Davis Bunn

Mothers Day Moments

I am blessed!

Thought For the Day

“I’ve learned that my best efforts to do good are pathetic, but in spite of my weakness, my doubts, my wandering attention, my cloudy vision, I am still precious in the sight of my Savior. I have learned of His infinite patience with me.”

~ Jamie Langston Turner, A Garden To Keep

A personal story of forgiveness

For 14 years there was a person in my life with whom I did I not have a good relationship. In fact, there was a time that I would have called her my enemy. I grew to resent her, hanging onto my hurt and allowing bitterness to grow in me. It was a constant source of hurt in my life and a wound that was repeatedly injured as I had occasion to see her on a fairly regular basis.

If I knew I was going to see her in a day or a week or a month, I would spend all the time leading up to it in dread, fear and anxiety. Whether the interaction proved to be good or bad (and it was most often bad in my estimation), I would spend the next several days rehashing every word and action and wishing I had done something differently.

At the same time, God was working on me. I longed to have a friendship with this person and I would pray constantly for things to change. Over the years I would vacillate between hopeful and persevering to spent and apathetic. I thought I would see signs of change and then be blindsided by a callous word or lack of acknowledgement. The wound would be reopened. I would crawl to the foot of the cross bloody and bruised and cry out to God for vengeance…release from this relationship…vindication…anything to show me that He would take up my cause. (Lamentations 3:58)

Repeatedly God would direct me to the same Bible verse in Isaiah 43:18-19. “Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making ways in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” And, in fact, I could not perceive it. But I kept praying and claiming the words of these verses…for 14 years!

I’ll admit that I lived in defeat many days believing that things would never change. I would give up hope only to be rebuked in the spirit and encouraged to persevere in doing good. But what about her?! I would protest. The answer was always the same: You are not responsible for her actions. I will deal with her according to My Word.

I read numerous books on forgiveness. I looked up every Bible verse I could find on the subject. I cried and prayed and did it all some more. And then one day….or maybe over several days…things changed. I can’t tell you what exactly because it was subtle. We didn’t discuss it. We just started being friends. There was an olive branch offered and an olive branch received. There were opportunities seized. There was a joining of hearts that could only happen with Christ’s redemptive touch.

The thing about it that struck me so profoundly was this: it no longer mattered who was at fault. For many years I believed I was a victim in this relationship gone bad, but towards the end I knew God was working out my own salvation through this thorn in my flesh. It no longer mattered where the blame lie, and I doubt I could remember after 14 years. Reconciliation did not come because of something I did; rather it came because Christ was working in two hearts that finally—separately—yielded to Him.

The thing that did matter was my response. My response to God: Was I obedient in living out the words of Mark 6 to love, do good, bless and pray? Did I persevere in prayer? Did I allow God to heal my bitterness and resentment? And my response to her. Did I humble myself and look for opportunities to serve her? Did I turn the other cheek? Did I offer forgiveness even when it was not asked for?

God has abundantly blessed me through this thorn in the flesh that I endured for 14 years. He has taught me and disciplined me and lavished his love on me. He has been merciful and gracious. And because of HIM, I have a new earthly relationship that brings me deep joy.

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” ~ Matthew 6:14

Thought for the day

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Every spiritual battle is won or lost at the threshold of the mind – not in the mind.

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Thought for the Day

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Let me big enough to be smaller than my neighbor.

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Thought for the day

“Hope is hearing the melody of the future. Faith is dancing to it now.” ~ Carol Kent

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see.” ~ Hebrews 11:1

Evidence SEEN

“Faith’s most severe tests come not when we see nothing, but when we see a stunning aray of evidence that seems to prove our faith in vain.” (~ Elisabeth Elliot)

Sometimes the evidence seems to mock me—my faith seems a mockery—when I don’t see God answering prayers the way I want Him to. What I do see is mounting evidence that things aren’t going my way. God, how can I keep trusting when you don’t give me what I ask for?

“It is in our acceptance of what is given that God gives Himself.” (~ Elisabeth Elliot)

“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” (Isaiah 42:16)